In memory of a very important person in my early college life, a friend of mine, and a great photographer “Wei Chia Huang”

On April 21st, 2022, in the morning, some lost their lovely family, I lost a friend, and the world lost a great photographer, WEI CHIA HUANG. (his IG)

在2022年4月21日的早上,有些人失去了他們摯愛的家人,我失去了一位好友,這個世界失去了一位偉大的攝影師,黃偉嘉

There were some misunderstandings between us at my late college life, so we were less in touch after that; but he was a really great person, a good friend of mine in my early college life.

I graduated from high school in Taiwan, and went to De Anza College to study and prepare transfer to other 4 years university right after that; as you guys thought, my English was terrible at that time, and he was one of the friend that gave me a lot of supports and helped me got quickly used to American Life as well.

Also, I was trying to get my driver’s license when I was 20, and he was also one of the friends that borrowed his car, taught me how to drive and park, and practiced with me when we both got time after school.

He was also one of the friends who was there for me during my girlfriend chase, relationship and breakup; we were very closed friend at that time, but there was only one thing he was interested in that I wasn’t, and that was drinking.

This life didn’t change until we all started to prepare the information for transferring to other schools and went about our own lives; the thing that made us start to have a knot is this thing that I can’t get out of my mind…

One day, I was in a hurry to park my friend’s car at school, and I ended up rubbing it next to his. I was so nervous and in a hurry to get to class that I simply asked my friend, who is also a mutual friend of his and mine, to tell him that I had rubbed his car when he met him at school. I admit that I thought of avoiding it because I really couldn’t afford to pay for the paint or the repair.

Coincidentally, someone at the massage studio in front of the parking lattice witnessed everything that happened and left a note on his car, and then I received a phone call from him that day, and at first I thought my friend had told him, plus he didn’t talk to me directly about the car, I thought he was going to be angry with me, plus I was timid and cowardly at the time, I didn’t confess to him right away what happened this morning, until he told me later that someone had actually left a note on his middle, and he called me to ask me about it, and then I really felt very ashamed.

I immediately apologized to him and promised that I would pay him back slowly for the repairs. He told me it was okay because he didn’t plan to fix it and didn’t mean to blame me, but I felt that at that moment, because of my cowardice and the loss of a good friend’s trust in me, I really didn’t have the face to face him again as before.

After that, I started to avoid any occasion where I had the chance to meet him, because as soon as I saw him, I couldn’t hold my head up and felt that I was really sorry for him, and until now I still can’t forgive myself. I’m sorry, I used to be a very good friend, because of my timidity, until the end I did not know what he thought, maybe he did not care, or maybe at the moment he no longer considered me a good friend, but now, these do not matter.

I have no connection with the important person in my life because of some misunderstandings, and today I said goodbye to him in this way. I really learned another lesson about my life through this; it’s really important to let go of the past.

I hope that all of our mutual friends and classmates will take care of their health, and that we can all live our lives in peace and happiness.

雖然在社區大學的後期,我們因為一些誤會而沒有之前那麼常互動,但他真的是我唸社區大學初期時,有幸認識的一個很好的人,和其中一位很好的朋友。

當我滿 20 歲準備考汽車駕照的時候,他也是其中一位,把自己的車借給我,並教我開車、停車的朋友; 只要我們下課後都有空,他就會陪我練車。

甚至在我那時追女友,和女友交往到分手,他也是其中一位聽我抱怨講幹話吐苦水的朋友,我們當時真的交情很好,只有一件事他很有興趣,但我沒有很感興趣,那就是喝酒,他真的很愛喝…

我在台灣高中畢業考完大學後,就辦休學去美國唸De Anza College,並在此準備申請轉校到四年制大學; 就跟大家所想的一樣,我當時的英文爛到爆,而大寶就是其中一位給了我很大的幫助和能夠快速適應美國生活的朋友之一。

這樣的生活一直到大家開始要準備轉學的資料,各自忙各自的生活後才開始改變; 而讓我們開始產生心結的,就是我心中一直揮之不去的這件事…

有一天,我在載朋友一起去上學停車的時候,因為太趕,結果擦到了他停在旁邊的車,我當下因為太緊張,又趕著上課,所以只簡單請我的朋友也是我和他共同的朋友在學校遇到他的時候幫我跟他講一下我擦到他的車,然後我就把車子移到別的停車格,我承認當時我有逃避的想法,因為當時的我真的付不起烤漆或維修費。

巧的是,停車格前方的按摩工作室有人目擊事發的一切經過,並在他的車上留下字條,然後當天我接到他的電話,起初我以為我的朋友有轉告他了,加上他也沒跟我直接聊車的事,我自以為他要對我發火了,再加上我當時的膽小和懦弱,我沒有馬上向他認錯今早發生的事,一直到後來他跟我說其實有人在他中上留了字條,他才打來問我這件事,當下我真的感到非常羞愧。

我馬上跟他道歉,並承諾我一定會慢慢還他修理費,他告訴我沒有關係,因為他沒打算去修也沒有要怪我的意思,但我感覺的出來在那時,因為我的懦弱,失去一位好友對我的信任,我真的沒有臉再像以前一樣面對他。

之後我開始逃避,避免任何有機會碰到他的場合,因為我只要一看到他,我就抬不起頭來,覺得我真的很對不起他,直到現在我還是沒辦法原諒我自己,每次想到這個朋友,就覺得很愧疚; 雖然我不知道他是不是這樣想,但我沒敢問,一直到這幾天聽到他的近況和他離開我們的消息,我更是難過,曾經非常要好的朋友,因為我的膽小,直到最後我都不知道他的想法,或許他早就不在意了,或許在當下他已不再當我是好友,但如今,這些都不重要了。

曾經人生過程中重要的人,因為一些誤會而沒聯絡,今天又是用這樣的方式道別,真的是讓我人生的課題,又學到了一課; 能放下過去的不如意,真的很重要。

也希望其他我們的共同好友、同學,也能照顧好自己的身體,大家都能平平安安,快快樂樂的過人生。

LOVE YOURSELF

CHARLIE YANG

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